Fuck You MTV!
God damn it.
Nothing is sacred. MTV (which hasn't been relevant in years and has given us such cultural milestones as The Hill's) has announced it will be remaking The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Was anyone asking for this?!
I mean the original is no cinematic masterpeice but it has retained a sort of dirty do-it-yourself charm.
There are no great special effects, there are cheesy sets and a cheesier script.
But thats its charm.
That's why people of all ages keep turning out in theaters in the place I now call home and just about everywhere else in the world.
This isn't a re-invention for the masses of teens unfamiliar with the original.
Whenever I go to see Rocky in a theater or on stage most of the audience is teens.
So why!?
Money would be the obvious answer.
No surprise there.
MTV has always been about exploiting the youth market and now it's about packaged nostalgia.
A low even VH1 wouldn't have stooped to.
Disgusting.
And worse yet.
They say in this new imagining there will be new songs.
Jesus Fucking Christ!!!
This abortion will be worse than the usual shit they pour down on our throats.
Prepare for the 'Highschool Musical' version of Rocky ... or worse yet, the 'Hairsparay The Musical' version of Rocky.
You know the toothless version of John Waters' most family friendly fare?
They took all the bite out of that one.
And padding out this Rocky, and no doubt updating it with references to Myspace and Youtube and Leave Britney Alone and Emo and whatever else is current, they'll drive a cult classic which achieved that by not being a very good film but having a lot of heart into the shitter.
Oh Discordia.
- Matt
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